God Was A Man

For centuries there have been many debates on whether God was male or female. Men like to think that God was a man because they (think they) are bigger and better. Women think God was female because obviously, we are the superior breed.

But God was quite clearly a man because He gave women the ability to have children. This logic comes from the fact that God wasn't stupid and quite clearly thought women would be much more suitable for coping through pregnancies, childbirth and motherhood. Let's face it; we've all seen what happens when a man catches a cold.

There is no way a man would be able to cope with back ache, tiredness and heartburn in one go. Throw in morning sickness, hormonal outbursts and an ever growing tummy and you're looking at a man who would probably spend the entire nine months of pregnancy in bed, whinging that everything hurts and telling us that they are going to die.

Women on the other hand just get on with it. And even when it gets to the point where we feel like we're starting to fall apart, we still get on with it.

And starting to fall apart I am. I wake up in the morning feeling like I haven't slept at all. The other day I burst into tears because the photocopier at work was not behaving the way it should have been and I was getting stressed out. Then I started to feel like everything is completely pointless because I finish work in a few weeks and it just feels like I am going through the motions. And my memory has vanished into thin air. I can't remember anything. This, I am told, is another side effect of pregnancy, but is really frustrating.

One example is I bought two birthday cards at the beginning of the week for birthdays at work this weekend. I was supposed to take them with me yesterday afternoon but left them sitting on my kitchen counter. Not to worry, I told myself, I'll get their addresses and post them today. Get their addresses I did and wrote them down. Then I left the addresses in the drawer. It wasn't too bad though because I'd actually written them down I remembered what they were and I could still post the cards when I went into town this morning. So what did I do? Completely forgot that I was supposed to take the cards with me for posting. It seems really trivial but it is so frustrating and my husband told me last night that forgetting things wasn't a big deal and I shouldn't get stressed out about it.

Which is what makes a man a man and a woman a woman. Because women are efficient. And when we are inefficient we feel like we have let ourselves down. The birthday cards was just one example. I go to work in the morning and I forget to do jobs that I have been doing every morning for the last four years!

This has also convinced me that God was a man. He tried to reduce women to blubbering wrecks to bring us down, because not content with making us go through childbirth, He also gave pregnancy side effects. It was all part of a big plan to make us realise we are weak and that men are still better than us, but at the end of the day, we might be falling apart, but we still get on with it. We might get teary, we might get stressed out but we're still at work on time with no fake sickies, the housework still gets done and tea still gets made.

I'd like to see a man try that.